


Yo-Big or Yo-Home

by empressed



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien shoulda been more careful, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Identity Reveal, Marinette's a mess, Rest of the class is cool though, Yoga, letss goo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 19:17:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15870036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressed/pseuds/empressed
Summary: Marinette watched as Adrien raised himself off the floor just by his elbows, her heart hiccuping while he arched his back in the air.She suppressed the urge to scream.It had to be a coincidence.





	Yo-Big or Yo-Home

**Author's Note:**

> I was requested on Tumblr to do an 'akuma therapy' drabble with 'emotion' and stuff like that, but I mean, Marinette freaking out has some emotion tied to it, right?

No.

 _Nope_.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, **no**._

One word to describe Marinette’s current situation was: Unneeded.

107%, totally, histrionically, absolutely _unneeded_.

Because when she woke up that morning (bad idea) with the delusional impression that today was going to be well-nigh normal—because she was a normal girl, with a normal life—and that the biggest point of her problems would chancily contain the typical akuma, or repetitive scold from Miss Bustier for being late _again_ ―

She did not, in any form of abstract back-of-the-head notion impossible of becoming reality, expect **_this_** dire situation to add to that normal life of hers.

_I don’t even know if my eyes are real right now._

“Girl, this is incredible, don’t you think?!”

Alya―blessed friend Alya who had dragged her into this perturbing situation just by an ‘Adrien’ll be there’―slapped her shoulder in what was meant to be a dude-casual motion that ended with Marinette almost tipping headfirst into the courtyard’s floor instead.

She straightened and swallowed about ten pounds of saliva just to clear her tight throat.

“I―”

 _Words_ , her allegedly non-existent mind repeated to her. But all she could remember about ‘words’ were that they were things people usually didn’t tend to forget how to use and yet that seemed to be exactly what had happened to her.

She opened her mouth. And closed it. And repeated this motion a few more times.

Maybe it was Miss Bustier’s fault. Maybe it was somehow Hawk Moth’s fault because the old man deprived of a life who tried to steal jewellery from children somehow always found ways to tick off her nerves without even being in the same vicinity.

 _Nope_ , her hope-crushing brain pointed out, _you know it’s not him. It’s_ **him**.

Brains were annoying when they were smart.

Thankfully, the truly cognitive part of hers was no longer in use, laying in broken pieces interior of her ‘newly discovered’ Thick Skull™.

(Because she was an idiot. Just like him, apparently.)

Who knew a yoga class could be so _scarring_?!

“It’ll be good for all of you,” Miss. Bustier had ranted on to her half-asleep gaggle of teens, trying her hardest to steal the group’s free period despite the blank faces in return. “I know Akuma’s can be frightening and make you a bit unsettled, and our meditation sessions have worked very well in the past. I feel every one of you will be able to take something from yoga. Plus, it’ll be a very nice experience for you all to have fun and become closer with each other!”

 _Or realise just how close you already_ were _with someone._

The whole class came.

It really was just an excuse for Mylène to cling to Ivan during the ten-minute debrief of the latest akumas and if everyone was okay or still scared, and for the entire group to hang out and mess around.

Therefore, all of it was just a bunch of teenagers almost breaking their spines.

 _No one_ knew what they were doing, even with Miss Bustier’s very easy―very _patient_ ―instructions on where each leg went and what body part your balance was placed upon. Rose spent the entire time trying to nail the tree pose since Chloé told her she wouldn’t be able to (Chloé was regrettably right), and Nathaniel—who actually attempted the activity with persistent effort—ended getting stuck in a difficult position and needed Sabrina and Juleka to help him out. Kim ended up falling on Alix so much that Max started to take pictures (their expressions were _priceless_ ), and she gave up punching him to begin teaching Kim the moves herself with ~~little~~ plenty frustration (the seriousness of that didn’t last long), which resulted in her whacking him with her yoga mat.

Well, _some_ people knew what they were doing.

And that was where the problem came in.

“You’re seeing this too, right?!” Alya nudged her again, wildly gesturing at the spectacle before them.

And that was where the _second_ problem came in.

She had already seen it.

Last week, in fact, from a hideously (hideously was the only correct word to describe it, or maybe disturbingly) familiar blond with _very_ similar skills and _very_ similar features and worst of all, _very_ similar body abilities, during their brief hangout after helping the police prevent a robbery at the Louvre.

…

“Wanna see what I’ve mastered, M’lady?”

Ladybug leaned against the cool brick of the Parisian building, re-lashing her yoyo to the side of her hip to eye her smirking partner with amusement.

“You’re going to show me no matter what I say, aren’t you?”

Chat Noir released his half-body-length staff into its regular size and slipped it into his pocket. “Yup!”

She watched as he moved to situate himself in her direct line of view and, to her surprise, plonk down cross-legged in front of her. He closed his eyes, but otherwise remained stagnant, furthering spiking her curiosity. She idly wondered if his new trick was learning how to sit still for once.

Her brows scrunched as she studied him. “What are you—?”      

“Shh!” She almost took a step back when he whipped out the classic ‘hold on’ finger so abruptly. “I have to get into my element.”

Staring at him, Ladybug distantly wondered if Master Fu knew what he was doing when he chose the meditating ( _was_ he meditating?) black cat before her to be one of the saviours of Paris.

She headed to repeat her stolen question once a few seconds of him sitting past, but in like a literal flash, he was on the ground one moment, and then balancing on his elbows with his lower body arched in the air in the next.

Her mouth tipped. “That’s—”

“Impurressive~?” he gladly supplied, delighting her with one of those goading smirks of his from where his forearms cradled the sides of his head. “This is just _one_ of my many fabulous skills. It’s an extremely difficult yoga pose—Sayanasana or something—that not many people can do, but, you know; I’m a superhero and stuff.”

Ladybug was still staring at her oddly-shaped partner with incredulous eyes. “Um, that you are.” She stalked forward to weave around his position, pinning her gaze to observe his formation. “But don’t like, your elbows hurt? And the blood rushing to your head. Not to mention your back and legs bent _over_ your head.”

She could tell he was loving the attention. “Don’t worry, Bugaboo. I’m fine. This cat’s got nine lives, anyway. Yo _gat_ to yo-big or yo-home.”

The black-spotted superhero sighed.

The black-haired teenager stiffened.

_N-no way, right?_

Just.

There was no way.

 _Coincidence_ , she had begun to repeat to herself as soon as the boy before her started to contort into position, _coincidence_ , _coincidence_ , _coincidence_ , _coincIDENCE_ ―

“That’s—”          

“Impressive?”

_It’s not a coincidence._

_…_

 “I wonder how he’s doing that.” After Marinette’s string-of-silence-responses to Alya’s remarks, the auburn-headed girl continued to commentate despite her slack-jawed friend beside her. “Sheesh, Marinette. Your standards are so high. I swear this kid can do _everything_.”

Another sober classmate (seriously, did _no one_ understand what was truly in front of them?) sauntered up behind the pair with a laugh. “I know, right?!” Nino slung his arm around Alya. “In all seriousness, I think it’s the fencing or rock-climbing. But the dude’s like a secret alien or something. From the land of _Homeschoolians_ and _Rich Parents_. He has the craziest tricks.”

Alya’s wide eyes blinked up at him. “He can do more?”

“ _Oh_ yeah.” Nino pinched the brim of his trademark cap, slanting it down scarcely. “Can practically do any sport from what I’ve seen. Morse Code nailed pat _and_ he can play the drums.” With a laugh, he _jokingly_ added, “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if the kid’s Chat Noir, too.”

The sound that tore from Marinette’s throat was duly recognised by Alya and Nino as, _not words_.

“ _Gah_!”

Adrien almost fell and broke his neck in his upside-down yoga position; Marinette’s force of bellow not only startling his balance, but several other tripping and falling classmates who had swerved their attention to the direction of the shriek. Even Alix and Kim, who were bloodthirstily whacking each other with yoga mats in a somewhat swordfight, turned around.

Marinette finally remembered what words were.

“When did you learn that?!”      

The blond’s bewildered green eyes snapped up at Marinette. “Um…?”

Everyone blinked at the equally-stunned pair.    

“I mastered it last week?”

_No, no, no, no, no, no, **no**._

“And—And what is it called?”

“Uh, Sayanasana or something?”

**_Nope!_ **

_If_ you _know,_ he _knows. That’s the deal._

She took a deep, deep breath.

(It didn’t help.)

“But don’t like, your elbows hurt?”

Adrien’s eyes widened.

“And―and the blood rushing to your head. Not to mention your back and legs bent _over_ your head.”

Something flashed in Adrien’s expression, a momentary glimpse of panic so simultaneously raw and transitory that she wanted to stuff the words right back into her mouth as soon as she’d uttered them.

And then he fell.

On his back, but there was no cracking sound, which was nice.

But his expression was horrified in an instant and then filled with elation in the next, glossing right over the slip of any terror that had paled on his face.

 _Chat Noir_ grinned.                                          

“Don’t worry, Mari,” Adrien said slyly, his tone atrociously _buzzing_ with his new-found discovery as he struggled to sit up. “I’m pawsitively fine. Either you yo-big or yo-home.”

Marinette sighed, wishing that she _could_ yoyo home.

But unfortunately, she wasn’t Ladybug at the moment, and instead a very overwhelmed, very _done_ , Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And the stupid cat knew it now.

She covered her red face in her hands.

“Yo _gat_ to be kidding me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Adrien's yoga pose: https://www.doyouyoga.com/10-insane-yoga-poses-you-wish-you-could-strike/
> 
> (oh and um, -wow- to all the love this story's gettin. V surprised, and thank you so much for all your kudos and comments!!)


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